Today was the day of our very first baby swim class. I've always loved swimming myself and, back in my oh-so-innocent, didn't-know-that-motherhood-is-nothing-but-work-work-work days, I had a few 'warm and fuzzies' daydreaming about how lovely it would be...
Shout out to my lovely cleaner who didn't bat an eyelid yesterday as I ran around shirtless, clutching a naked Angus, inside and outside of the house, with poo smeared across my arm. "Just let me know if I need to go back over and clean anything again." #justanotherthursday #theladyisagem #howmuchpoocanonelittlebodyhold
The following passages are true, unedited excerpts taken directly from the daily journals of Bec and Angus. For clarity, Angus's entries are presented in blue italics while Bec's remain in plain font (Angus won the coin toss)...
"...Clearly, so many of us parents, new and experienced, are being driven a little north of bat-shit crazy in our quest for the holy grail - a baby that achieves the quantity and quality of sleep it needs, while we also get the quantity and quality of sleep we need..."
...I took Angus into the workplace to meet my boss and some of my colleagues. Bringing your baby to work is one of these modern day conventions that has always left me feeling awkward A.F., truth be told...
Today, as I was cuddling Angus, gently patting his bottom as he nestled his head into my neck, Angus pooed with such force, velocity and volume that...
...Angus let out a howl and I pulled him upright to inspect the damage, expecting to see rivers of blood and eviscerated brain matter (such are the logical conclusions drawn by a new parent)...
...Before Angus commenced his roll down my Fallopian tube, my personal exposure to infants had been quite minimal. Mostly, it was limited to politely refusing when parents asked whether I wanted to hold their baby...
...when the 4 of us are home alone together, everyone's business is everyone's business.
...I don't have too many qualms now about heading out the door in clothes I've slept in, clothes spattered with spit up (wet or dried, neither fazes me) or sans a skerrick of make-up. Really, the general public should just be thankful that I make the effort to put a bra and underwear on...
I have been sitting in this cafe for 90 minutes now, I'm reaching the end of my third mug of coffee and I don't intend to leave any time soon. My little beast is, finally, sleeping soundly and I would rather burst my bladder than disturb his slumber...
2 months in as a fledgling parent and while I am still wobbling along on the training wheels, there are a few more things I've figured out over the past month...
In no particular order, here's a list of things I reckon Angus has learned about his mum over the past 7 and a bit weeks...
Andy and I are finding out just how hard it is to give all of your children equal affection and attention, all of the time. Especially when one of them demands your input into every mouthful, your assistance with cleaning up every excretion, and relies on you as his primary mode of transport.
... Nope. I was as cool and as clinically objective as Dr Cucumber. Son, if it hurts then that's just the needles doing their job. Short term pain for long term gain. Get a cup of cement, Master Angus, and harden up...
On the fact that Angus looks so much more like Andy and his family, than me and mine: Andy: "I'm glad that I married such a genetically recessive woman."
...Because now my daily grind is full of song - songs to settle Angus, soothe Angus, distract Angus, entertain Angus. And...it's not good. It is not fun. (Well, sometimes it is 😋)...
...it is fortunate that I do have a bit of a crush on the boss and I am utterly smitten; I just wish you would hurry up and develop head and neck control, and USE YOUR BLOODY WORDS!
...teeth are a viable second option when you are unable to use your hands. And your chin is a third. And your foot is an occasional fourth...
...At my baby shower, I got given a memories book which included space to record your baby's prints. So I thought, "why not give it a go?"
...my newborn son sleeps reasonably well through the night...The other night, however, was a good example of when it can be, rather, shit...
Bec is an "FTM": a First Time Mum; Farking Terrified Mum; Frazzled & Tired Mum...
