"So when are you planning to have the next one?"...
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Song of our Leprechaun
"Our little boy is learning to talk. To Andy's joy and my chagrin, "Dad" was the first word Angus formed. I was slightly mollified when "Mum" was second on the list, albeit quite a few weeks later. And then Andy and I found ourselves both being called Mum and Dad interchangeably - I'm proud that my son refuses to pander to gender stereotypes..."
Time flies…
It’s been a while between online rants. 4 months, actually, according to the blog dates. Where did the time go?...
World, Please Send More Coffee
"Some highlights from the past week at Sleep Deprivation Central..."
Forward Momentum
"Crawling is a milestone we're waiting for with mixed measures of excitement and nervousness..."
Here’s a Warning Label – Part 2, Down the Duff
"...time to continue on from my post from the other week, and list some of the things I wish had read on a warning label, before my husband and I decided to switch from 'baby-proofing' to 'baby-making'..."
First Tooth
As I dropped Angus off at the gym creche this morning, I was excited to tell the minder, "I just noticed downstairs - Angus has cut a tooth this morning!" The minder gives me a look, and replies, "That tooth was there when you dropped him off yesterday..." #parentfail #thetoothhurts
Here’s a Warning Label – Part 1, Up the Duff
"...in the spirit of sharing with those preparing for breeding and rearing, I've decided to write a list of some of the things that I wish had read on a warning label, in a mainly chronological but otherwise rambling order..."
Squawky McSquawkerson
As we were standing in queue at Bunning's yesterday, Angus was feeling a bit tired and hungry and decided to let us know with his characteristic, whingeing cry...
Who’s been Sleeping in my Bed?
Nobody, that's who. If Goldilocks's trespassing spree had brought her to our house, she would find the bed belonging to Mumma and Papa Bears vacant and available for a long, uninterrupted siesta...
Our first splash…
Today was the day of our very first baby swim class. I've always loved swimming myself and, back in my oh-so-innocent, didn't-know-that-motherhood-is-nothing-but-work-work-work days, I had a few 'warm and fuzzies' daydreaming about how lovely it would be...
💩💩 This shit ain’t bananas 💩💩
Shout out to my lovely cleaner who didn't bat an eyelid yesterday as I ran around shirtless, clutching a naked Angus, inside and outside of the house, with poo smeared across my arm. "Just let me know if I need to go back over and clean anything again." #justanotherthursday #theladyisagem #howmuchpoocanonelittlebodyhold
Two Tales of a Morning
The following passages are true, unedited excerpts taken directly from the daily journals of Bec and Angus. For clarity, Angus's entries are presented in blue italics while Bec's remain in plain font (Angus won the coin toss)...
Sleeping in the Guano
"...Clearly, so many of us parents, new and experienced, are being driven a little north of bat-shit crazy in our quest for the holy grail - a baby that achieves the quantity and quality of sleep it needs, while we also get the quantity and quality of sleep we need..."
Hi ho, hi ho, off to work we go…
...I took Angus into the workplace to meet my boss and some of my colleagues. Bringing your baby to work is one of these modern day conventions that has always left me feeling awkward A.F., truth be told...
Shit Happens
Today, as I was cuddling Angus, gently patting his bottom as he nestled his head into my neck, Angus pooed with such force, velocity and volume that...
Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow
...Angus let out a howl and I pulled him upright to inspect the damage, expecting to see rivers of blood and eviscerated brain matter (such are the logical conclusions drawn by a new parent)...
Let Sleeping Baby Lie
...Before Angus commenced his roll down my Fallopian tube, my personal exposure to infants had been quite minimal. Mostly, it was limited to politely refusing when parents asked whether I wanted to hold their baby...
Goodbye, Toilet Door
...when the 4 of us are home alone together, everyone's business is everyone's business.
💖 💖 Thank you, Angus 💖 💖
...I don't have too many qualms now about heading out the door in clothes I've slept in, clothes spattered with spit up (wet or dried, neither fazes me) or sans a skerrick of make-up. Really, the general public should just be thankful that I make the effort to put a bra and underwear on...
Java, java, java!
I have been sitting in this cafe for 90 minutes now, I'm reaching the end of my third mug of coffee and I don't intend to leave any time soon. My little beast is, finally, sleeping soundly and I would rather burst my bladder than disturb his slumber...
2 months & a few more insights
2 months in as a fledgling parent and while I am still wobbling along on the training wheels, there are a few more things I've figured out over the past month...
What Angus knows about Mum
In no particular order, here's a list of things I reckon Angus has learned about his mum over the past 7 and a bit weeks...
Won’t Somebody Think of the Children?
Andy and I are finding out just how hard it is to give all of your children equal affection and attention, all of the time. Especially when one of them demands your input into every mouthful, your assistance with cleaning up every excretion, and relies on you as his primary mode of transport.
Jabbity jab jabs
... Nope. I was as cool and as clinically objective as Dr Cucumber. Son, if it hurts then that's just the needles doing their job. Short term pain for long term gain. Get a cup of cement, Master Angus, and harden up...
Genetics
On the fact that Angus looks so much more like Andy and his family, than me and mine: Andy: "I'm glad that I married such a genetically recessive woman."
♪♬ Life is now a song ♬♪
...Because now my daily grind is full of song - songs to settle Angus, soothe Angus, distract Angus, entertain Angus. And...it's not good. It is not fun. (Well, sometimes it is 😋)...
An Open Letter to Management
...it is fortunate that I do have a bit of a crush on the boss and I am utterly smitten; I just wish you would hurry up and develop head and neck control, and USE YOUR BLOODY WORDS!
1 Month Review
...teeth are a viable second option when you are unable to use your hands. And your chin is a third. And your foot is an occasional fourth...
Nailed It!
...At my baby shower, I got given a memories book which included space to record your baby's prints. So I thought, "why not give it a go?"
Night time nap-pees
...my newborn son sleeps reasonably well through the night...The other night, however, was a good example of when it can be, rather, shit...
About Mumma, Dadda and the Bubba
Bec is an "FTM": a First Time Mum; Farking Terrified Mum; Frazzled & Tired Mum...
